paint me a smile

Dear Journal,

Today has not been great. I’ve been drinking too much coffee, I know that I shouldn’t… It makes me anxious.

Work was hectic and I felt overwhelmed. I swear that my most used words are ‘thank you’ and ‘sorry’. I apologise way too much. I apologise for everything, even it’s not my fault. I even find myself apologising for apologising.

I don’t want to go to work tomorrow. I feel sad and lonely. The truth is, I don’t feel like I have anyone to talk to about this. My family, as much as I love them, they don’t understand fully what I mean when I tell them that I feel down or anxious. I have one friend who just gets me. Which is awesome. But I don’t always want to put all of this on her.

I’ve started avoiding people who just tell me to cheer up or “feel better soon”. I don’t want to hear that. I also don’t want to hear that I should go for a walk or meditate, or do yoga. I just want to talk about how I’m feeling. I don’t think that’s too much to ask.

I apologise for ranting (that’s ironic isn’t it) Now I think I will keep myself occupied by watching Netflix and doing a bit of writing. (secret project 😉 )

Thank you for reading ❤