paint me a smile

Dear Journal,

This evening I want to talk to you about my weekend. Last Thursday my mum told me that my family were going away. Unfortunately, I couldn’t go as I was working all weekend. So that meant that I had the entire house to myself. At first, I was super excited, I could have some ‘me’ time. I hadn’t really been by myself for any length of time since I lived in South Korea last year.

Once Friday came around I started feeling a bit apprehensive. Once I had finished work, I headed straight to the gym. Then I headed straight home.

For about a month and a half now I’ve been seriously thinking about moving out into an apartment by myself. Sometimes I miss living by myself. I really like having my own space. 

After reflecting on this weekend, I don’t think I’m quite ready to move out by myself just yet. For the past two nights I’ve not slept well. I’ve barely eaten and I’ve just been generally quite anxious. Having said all of that, I’m proud that I got through this weekend. Nothing bad happened and I made it through.

For people who deal with anxiety and depression being left alone can be quite a challenge. It was a challenge, I’m not going to pretend that it was really easy. I mean, I think it helped so much that I worked both days. It took my mind off things. Evenings are often the worst, so I made sure that I kept myself busy and I went to bed early.

I’m a big believer in rewarding yourself if you do something that you found difficult. So this afternoon after work I headed into town and bought myself a new lipstick from NYX. I love it. It’s such a pretty pink. A girl can never have too many lipsticks.

Overall I’m proud of myself for getting through this weekend. ❤

P.S. How was your weekend?