Taking Back Control.

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Going and telling a complete stranger that something is wrong is no easy task. It takes courage, strength and confidence.

All of which in recent months I have been struggling with.

Yesterday was my first day back at my original store. I was really anxious. I got changed into my uniform and my anxiety was sky high. What if someone asks me about what I did to my arm? I had prepared an excuse. I practiced it in the mirror for the past 5 days. I was as ready as I would ever be.

I kept telling myself that it would be okay and all I had to do was get through these next few hours. I needed to put on a smile and it would soon be over.

I left work early and I made my way to my doctors appointment. I had prepared a solid list of the things that I wanted to discuss. This appointment was incredibly important.

I got sat down. The doctor asked how I was. My immediate response was “yeah, I’m good thank you. How are you?” As soon as the words left my mouth I corrected myself. “Actually no, I’m not okay. Things are really bad. But it’s difficult to talk about. I have a list.”

*Shows list*

We continued talking. Long story short, I will continue taking my current medication. She has referred me a to a psychiatrist. So now I’m waiting. She checked the SH on my arms, it’s all okay. Not infected.

I’m feeling rather positive. Today I worked up the courage to film a video for mental health awareness week. I’m really nervous about uploading it. But I’m proud of myself for getting up and telling my story.

I hope you’re having a great week so far. โค


3 thoughts on “Taking Back Control.

  1. I know how difficult it is to open up and talk, to anyone – even when we know the person wouldn’t judge, we still have fears that they would.

    I’m so proud of you ! It was so important to admit that you needed help, and in showing your list and SH, you also admitted that you worth this help that you came for. These are very important and positive steps so you can progress in recovery and healing. I’m glad that you were taken seriously and that you are doing everything you can to regain control and works towards your goals.

    Hugs my friend!


  2. It’s really tough to open up. I’m proud of you. ๐Ÿ™‚ Best of luck in your recovery. If you need to talk, I’m here. I’ve been through self harm.


  3. You’ve made an important first step in opening up..which is not easy so well done you ๐Ÿ˜.
    Its a step you can build on, writing a list was a fantastic idea my partner has ASD depression and anxieties and finds list making a tremendous help x


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