Dear Journal,
Where have I been? Good question!
I have been… busy. The truth is, things have been pretty bad for me. I’ve been very stressed. My moods have been so up and down. SH is at it’s all time worst. I have been and visited a psychiatrist for the first time a few weeks ago. (they aren’t as scary as my mind made them out to be)
We discussed a possible diagnosis which is currently BPD. (borderline personality disorder) He increased my medication. I’m currently taking 150mg of Venlafaxine. I’m not noticing a huge effect so far, but it’s only been a couple of weeks.
I’m also having nurse visits 3 times a week to monitor my medication, mood and food intake. It’s taking me a little bit of time to get used to it. But it’s much better than the alternative which is going into hospital as an impatient.
I’m currently planning a trip to London in a few weeks with my friend Josh. Check out his blog here: unitedasonevoice.co.uk
I’m currently working on some training books to work towards being a crew trainer at my store which is super positive.
Although things have been tough for the past couple of months. Things are looking more and more positive.
I have so many positive and great things ahead of me over the next 6 months. I have a lot of things to be focusing on.
Here are some things that are inspiring me to get up in the morning:
- My friends
- My Book
- My family
- My future job prospects
- Possible return to education
- Coffee
- London trip
- New York at Christmas
These are just some of the positive things I have in my life right now.
Every time I find myself doubting myself. I will look back at this post and remind myself that I have so many amazing people, and so many amazing things in my life. How could I possibly think about ending my life?
How is your week going? ❤
I’m sorry things aren’t going your way lately. but I’m glad to hear that you’re staying positive & reminding yourself of the good things! 😊
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Hannah, you are too blessed to even think about ending your life. We all have our ups and downs and that’s part of being alive. In my country, that is 3rd world Philippines, we don’t get to see a shrink at all. We get down on our knees and pray, or we grin and bear it. Either way, we have to go on living because our life is not ours to take. God was just kind enough to allow us to experience life and He chose to give you that life because He knows you can do great things with it. He trusts you. Trust in Him also.
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Hey Hannah, I’ve been following your blog for around 3 weeks as I thought I saw you on the street a while ago and bumped into you when you were at work the other day. Im sorry to hear that your not doing as well as you looked at work, but if you know who I am, you know you can contact me whenever you need, I’m literally round the corner. If you do, reply back, you know (hopefully if you can guess who I am haha) I will do what ever I can to help 🙂 x
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