paint me a smile

Dear Journal,

Where have I been? Good question!

I have been… busy. The truth is, things have been pretty bad for me. I’ve been very stressed. My moods have been so up and down. SH is at it’s all time worst. I have been and visited a psychiatrist for the first time a few weeks ago. (they aren’t as scary as my mind made them out to be)

We discussed a possible diagnosis which is currently BPD. (borderline personality disorder) He increased my medication. I’m currently taking 150mg of Venlafaxine. I’m not noticing a huge effect so far, but it’s only been a couple of weeks.

I’m also having nurse visits 3 times a week to monitor my medication, mood and food intake. It’s taking me a little bit of time to get used to it. But it’s much better than the alternative which is going into hospital as an impatient.

I’m currently planning a trip to London in a few weeks with my friend Josh. Check out his blog here: unitedasonevoice.co.uk

I’m currently working on some training books to work towards being a crew trainer at my store which is super positive.

Although things have been tough for the past couple of months. Things are looking more and more positive.

I have so many positive and great things ahead of me over the next 6 months. I have a lot of things to be focusing on.

Here are some things that are inspiring me to get up in the morning:

• My friends
• My Book
• My family
• My future job prospects
• Possible return to education
• Coffee
• London trip
• New York at Christmas

These are just some of the positive things I have in my life right now.

Every time I find myself doubting myself. I will look back at this post and remind myself that I have so many amazing people, and so many amazing things in my life. How could I possibly think about ending my life?

How is your week going? ❤