Sorry Is My Favourite Word.

Dear Journal,

Today has not been great. I’ve been drinking too much coffee, I know that I shouldn’t… It makes me anxious.

Work was hectic and I felt overwhelmed. I swear that my most used words are ‘thank you’ and ‘sorry’. I apologise way too much. I apologise for everything, even it’s not my fault. I even find myself apologising for apologising.

I don’t want to go to work tomorrow. I feel sad and lonely. The truth is, I don’t feel like I have anyone to talk to about this. My family, as much as I love them, they don’t understand fully what I mean when I tell them that I feel down or anxious. I have one friend who just gets me. Which is awesome. But I don’t always want to put all of this on her.

I’ve started avoiding people who just tell me to cheer up or “feel better soon”. I don’t want to hear that. I also don’t want to hear that I should go for a walk or meditate, or do yoga. I just want to talk about how I’m feeling. I don’t think that’s too much to ask.

I apologise for ranting (that’s ironic isn’t it) Now I think I will keep myself occupied by watching Netflix and doing a bit of writing. (secret project 😉 )

Thank you for reading ❤

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The Secret Life. 

So I’ve realized that the majority of things that I write about on this blog is about the positives of living in South Korea. I did however write a post about the things that I don’t like about Korea, but this time I want to talk about something more specific. 

It seems to be a pretty normal thing here for men to go to ‘business rooms/clubs’. From what I’ve heard, its rooms where men can go and hire women to dance or have sex with them. I’ve heard its extremely common for men to go there as a ‘work night out’. To be honest, I find this whole concept just disgusting. What makes it one hundred times worse is that the women married to these men don’t think that there is anything wrong with this behavior. This I will never understand… 

Honestly, what confuses me further is, in Korean society men and women can’t meet each other (even for coffee) if either one of them is married or in a relationship. To me, this seems fair and reasonable) However, what I will never understand is, its unacceptable to meet a person of the opposite sex but if a man wants to go on a ‘work night out’ thats okay. Yes yes. Its also extremely sexist. Welcome to Korea. He can go to a business club and have sex with some girl and their wives or girlfriends don’t consider that as cheating. I’m sorry for this as I know my parents read my blog sometimes BUT THAT IS FUCKED UP!! LIKE SERIOUSLY!! How is that not cheating on your partner??? And how is that okay???

Drinking is such a huge part of Korean society. But I refuse to accept that in order to get promoted or get a job at a company you want to work for, you have to have sex with a girl at a business club to impress ‘the boss’.

No no no. I’m sorry but that is just too ridiculous!! Like do their wives or girlfriends just have no self-respect? Or do their husbands just have no respect for their partners? Either way this is a part of Korea I’m REALLY not liking! 

Is there any wonder men and women take their phones with them everytime they leave the room? Even when they go to the bathroom. What could possibly happen in the two minutes you take in the bathroom…? Its odd and secretive. Their phones are permanently attached to them. Its actually very sad. What ever happened to being faithful and trusting your partner…?

I’m really not having a great week here so far. Its stuff like this that makes me entirely reconsider living here. This is a part of Korea that I will not accept and it is definetely something I will never be able to get my head around. 

*Excuse me while I go and sit in the corner and cry whilst rethinking my life decisions!*

Im keen to get other peoples thoughts on this. Feel free to tell me what you think. 

P.s. Is the secret life much more interesting…?