Getting a Head Start on Mondays.

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Hey there! It’s been a pretty busy week over here! I did my first full week at work which was great. I’m loving working in a coffee shop. It’s so intimate and friendly. And of course, THE COFFEE! I’m back at work tomorrow, I can’t wait to see what this working week brings.

Today I had a day off, as did the boyfriend. We woke up kind of early, got ready and made our way to McDonalds for have breakfast. I feel like I’ve not had breakfast there in a while. We decided that we would do a big food shop today so after breakfast we made our way to Lidl.

It was a productive shop I think. Being an adult is strange…

It’s starting to get a bit warmer too which is great so it was nice walking between the shops. I’m truly sick of the rainy and cold weather.

Every Sunday I try and do a big clean up but today I wanted to do a big spring clean of the apartment. That means, washing up done, laundry done, bedding changed, bathroom thoroughly cleaned, etc.

It’s so nice to get ready for the coming week. Tidy house, tidy mind I always say! I like to be able to go to bed on a Sunday night and be able to get ready for work without my mind feeling cluttered because the apartment is messy.

On Sundays (in preparation for Monday) I often like to:

✨ Do a hair/face mask

✨ Meal prep for the following day/week

✨ Wash my makeup brushes

✨ Prepare my clothes for the following day

✨ Write in my journal

✨ Read a book

Those are just a few things I like to do to prepare to have a successful start to the week. A little self-care and pampering always puts me in a good mood and ready to have a productive week.

What do you do to prepare for a successful Monday?

– Hannah ❤

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My First Few Days In Kent.

It’s been a busy week this week and it’s only Wednesday!

On Monday I moved all the way from my parent’s house in Hull all the way down to Dover. My boyfriend and I have got a flat here.

The move went fairly easy. We got everything in the flat, my dad and sister stayed a little while before setting off back to Hull.

I didn’t really do much yesterday asides from unpacking and going food shopping with Josh.

I’m feeling much more settled today, most of my stuff is unpacked and in place. I have been asked to have some coffee shop training next Monday-Wednesday which is exciting. You all know how much I love coffee!  I managed to register myself at the doctors too, that makes me feel a bit more at ease for when I need to get some more medication.

I also had a bit of time to walk along the seafront. It was just so beautiful. I will definetely be spending more time down there when the weather gets a bit warmer.

I’m so glad that I have made the decision to move down here. I think this is going to be a really positive step for me.

How is your week going?

– Hannah ❤

Love Yourself.

I feel like I spend a lot of my time reminding people to love themselves and I find that I neglect to love myself.

Today I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. Its going to be a very emotionally changing next few months. I need to remember to not be too hard on myself. Maybe once in a while I need to cut myself some slack.

✨ I am doing my best.

And if I have a bad day. I need to remind myself of this:

✨ Things WILL get better.

I’ve also been asking myself this (it’s also a quote btw)
“Was it a bad day? Or was it a bad five minutes that you milked all day?”

I’m so guilty of writing off an entire day as a bad day when in fact, realistically it was probably just a bad couple of hours.

Here are a few things that I have tried to remind myself of today:

✨ Always make time for yourself.

✨ Be brave.

✨Be bold.

✨ Value yourself.

✨ Celebrate the things you love.

I hope you’ve all had a fantastic day! 

–  Hannah ❤

My Photo From Photowall.

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As many of you are aware, I’m moving to Kent early next month! I’m very excited to start this new chapter of my life.

When Photowall contacted me at the beginning of this month and asked if I would be interested in reviewing their canvas prints, I jumped at the opportunity! I found it very difficult to pick which print I wanted. I wasn’t sure whether I wanted one of my images printed or whether I wanted to pick one from one of their diverse collection.

After much thought I came across this watercolour print of London skyline. I immediately fell in love with it! I thought it would be perfect for mine and the boys new apartment.

The ordering process was so quick and easy! The print was delivered fast and very well packaged.

Putting it together was fairly simple. Easy to follow instructions were included in the box too as well as supports to hang it on the wall.

I’m in love with this print so much. The quality of the canvas is great and sturdy too. The colours are just beautiful. I’ve found the spot in which I will put this canvas up in the apartment and I think it will look beautiful!

Having a nice environment really helps you to have a clear and healthy mind. Thats what I want to aim for when I move into my new place. I want it to be bright and airy and I think that this canvas print will be perfect for my new place!

Are you moving out? Or re-decorating? Or just want a treat for yourself?

I highly suggest buying from Photowall! They have set up a 20% discount code for me to give to you all.

Use the code: HannahClarkeCampaign2018
(It will be active for 30 days)

http://www.photowall.com

– Hannah ❤

Positive Affirmations.

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Sometimes we just need a few written reminders of just how brave, strong and amazing we can be!

Mental illness can really wear us down and make us both mentally and physically drained. It’s been one of those days for me.

But despite having a pretty bad morning, lots of positive things have come from today. I planned a few big surprise things that will be happening in the next few months. I went shopping with my friend. (she is just adorable and really makes me smile) I’m so lucky to have her! I bought some food for dinners as well as some ingredients to do some baking on my day off on Friday! I also took a bath and did some reading. I’m reading such a cute book at the minute. I admit, I’m a huge fan of the romance books! I’m also planning on going to the gym after work tomorrow!

I would say a pretty positive day in the end!

If you’re feeling down, useless or unmotivated, I highly suggest writing some positive affirmations down. Even if you don’t believe them right away, it’s great to have them as a motivator.

✨ YOU are stronger than you think!

✨ YOU are worthy of happiness and love!

✨ YOU are more incredible than you think you are!

✨ YOU do deserve a break!

✨ YOU can do this!

✨ I believe in you.

I hope you are enjoying your week so far.

– Hannah ❤

I’m Moving to Kent.

I'm Moving

So, I’ve been keeping this quite quiet for a little while now. I’m so happy that I can now tell everyone about it!

At the beginning of March I will be moving in with my boyfriend. It’s going to be so great to see him everyday rather than just once a month. I can imagine that going from being long distance to living together will present a few issues, but I’m so confident that we are both going to love it.

I’m so excited to start this next chapter of our lives together. I’m looking forward to sharing this new part of my life with you all.

Do you have any advice for moving in with your boyfriend? It would be greatly appreciated.

– Hannah ❤

MBT Therapy – Week Three.

Luck or fate that takes the form of finding valuable or pleasant things that are not looked for-4This session I found particularly difficult and emotional draining. We were discussing ‘Understanding Personality Development’.

We discussed how growing up in particular tough or stifling environments can stint personality development. This can cause a person to feel:

  • Lack of trust
  • Not getting close to people
  • Feeling Abandoned
  • Limited self-confidence
  • Poor self-worth
  • Poor emotional & behavioural self-regulation
  • Difficulty communicating

A lot of these I can relate to, and that is what I found difficult from this session. It opened my eyes to a lot of reasons why I might feel like I do.

A key point that was mentioned in this session was that, when we are younger (as a child) we have a certain way of reacting to certain situations. As we grow up, if these habits aren’t changed and developed, it can lead to outbursts, mood swings and built up anger.

In these sessions we are aiming to look at these behaviours and begin to work on changing these habits.

We also discussed about mental health in the workplace and how the people around us respond when they know about mental illness.

I’m lucky, I gain a lot of support from my managers and workplace, they are incredibly understanding about my mental health providing I’m honest and I communicate how I’m feeling.

Overall, I think that these sessions are helping me.

I hope you all have a great week. 🙂

–  Hannah ❤

MBT Therapy – Week Two.

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So I’m writing this a little bit later than the last post, and to be honest, it’s purely because getting through this week has been particularly difficult. Better late than never though yeah?

The second session went well. I wasn’t as anxious about going as I kind of knew what to expect. I also felt more confident on the way there as I knew where I was going.

We all sat around in a group just as we did the first week. There was a few people who didn’t come to the last session. We all took it in turns to say our name out loud so that the new people knew our names. I felt kind of awkward about this though. I know this sounds strange, but I felt like I was in a cheesy American drama.

The session went quite quickly. In the break, I made myself a coffee and talked with F again. She said that she wasn’t having a great week either. There was also a girl there who told us that she had tried to hang herself this week as things got too much. I felt kind of silly that I had being feeling so down as I didn’t feel like my reasons where as valid as some of the others in the group.

We mostly did group tasks this week, I was kind of pleased about this. I really didn’t want to make an effort to try and work in pairs as that would require speaking. Throughout the group activities I felt my emotions building up, I felt like I had so much I wanted to say but I couldn’t find a way to express how I was feeling. I knew in my mind what I was feeling, but the words just didn’t leave my mouth.

I find that this has been happening quite a lot.

I struggle to talk about how I feel unless I’m writing it down. I love this blog as it provides me with a voice, as well as a platform in which I can freely talk about what I like.

It makes me emotional and upset at times when I can’t express my feelings in spoken words, I feel that in some ways it stifles my relationships with people.

I guess sometimes I feel as though it’s a weakness.

I have therapy again tomorrow. I’m going to relax this evening and not be too hard on myself. After all, tomorrow will be a tough day.

I hope that you’re all having a fantastic week.

– Hannah ❤

MBT Therapy – Week One.

What is MBT?

“Mentalization based treatment is a Psychotherapy used to treat people who meet criteria for a diagnosis of borderline personality disorder. Mentalizing is the capacity to make sense of our own actions and feelings and those of others. This can be very important in enabling us to regulate our emotions and impulses and n developing fulfilling meaningful relationships.”

Last Friday I attended my first session of MBT. Before attending the session I was feeling quite anxious about going. I wasn’t entirely sure what to expect. I’ve had other types of therapy before but I knew this was different!

As I approached the door to the building I rang the bell and waited for someone to let me in. She took me into the room where the group was taking place. I walked in and there was about 11 other people already sat there. I only recognised one person which was my care worked who I see every two weeks. I sat down and started to fill in the questionnaire that they asked us all to complete.

  • We started with an introduction. The three therapists running the session wrote out names on the board. We passed a teddybear around the group, when you pass the bear to another person in the group you had to say their name. I was nervous at first but I soon started to feel more comfortable.
  • They then asked us to turn to the person to our left and ask that person for three facts about themselves.

S – She tattoos herself. She likes drawing and spending time with her children.

  • We took a short break. I made myself a coffee and I started talking to one of the other girls. F seemed really nice. She’s a Slytherin!
  • The group resumed and we were asked to work in pairs again. I worked with F. Our task was to write down three things we feared or were anxious about before coming to todays session.

I wrote:

  1. Not being liked.
  2. Being late/getting lost.
  3. Being judged.
  • We handed the three slips of paper back to the therapists and they read everyones out loud.

It was interesting to see that a lot of the group felt the same way as me. We all wrote down similar things.

The group concluded with discussing about the fears that we were all having about coming to the group.

Next Friday’s session will be on ‘Conditioning’

– Hannah ❤

Where Have I Been…?

Dear Journal,

Where have I been? Good question!

I have been… busy. The truth is, things have been pretty bad for me. I’ve been very stressed. My moods have been so up and down. SH is at it’s all time worst. I have been and visited a psychiatrist for the first time a few weeks ago. (they aren’t as scary as my mind made them out to be)

We discussed a possible diagnosis which is currently BPD. (borderline personality disorder) He increased my medication. I’m currently taking 150mg of Venlafaxine. I’m not noticing a huge effect so far, but it’s only been a couple of weeks.

I’m also having nurse visits 3 times a week to monitor my medication, mood and food intake. It’s taking me a little bit of time to get used to it. But it’s much better than the alternative which is going into hospital as an impatient.

I’m currently planning a trip to London in a few weeks with my friend Josh. Check out his blog here: unitedasonevoice.co.uk

I’m currently working on some training books to work towards being a crew trainer at my store which is super positive.

Although things have been tough for the past couple of months. Things are looking more and more positive.

I have so many positive and great things ahead of me over the next 6 months. I have a lot of things to be focusing on.

Here are some things that are inspiring me to get up in the morning:

  • My friends
  • My Book
  • My family
  • My future job prospects
  • Possible return to education
  • Coffee
  • London trip
  • New York at Christmas

These are just some of the positive things I have in my life right now.

Every time I find myself doubting myself. I will look back at this post and remind myself that I have so many amazing people, and so many amazing things in my life. How could I possibly think about ending my life?

How is your week going? ❤

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