So I’m writing this a little bit later than the last post, and to be honest, it’s purely because getting through this week has been particularly difficult. Better late than never though yeah?
The second session went well. I wasn’t as anxious about going as I kind of knew what to expect. I also felt more confident on the way there as I knew where I was going.
We all sat around in a group just as we did the first week. There was a few people who didn’t come to the last session. We all took it in turns to say our name out loud so that the new people knew our names. I felt kind of awkward about this though. I know this sounds strange, but I felt like I was in a cheesy American drama.
The session went quite quickly. In the break, I made myself a coffee and talked with F again. She said that she wasn’t having a great week either. There was also a girl there who told us that she had tried to hang herself this week as things got too much. I felt kind of silly that I had being feeling so down as I didn’t feel like my reasons where as valid as some of the others in the group.
We mostly did group tasks this week, I was kind of pleased about this. I really didn’t want to make an effort to try and work in pairs as that would require speaking. Throughout the group activities I felt my emotions building up, I felt like I had so much I wanted to say but I couldn’t find a way to express how I was feeling. I knew in my mind what I was feeling, but the words just didn’t leave my mouth.
I find that this has been happening quite a lot.
I struggle to talk about how I feel unless I’m writing it down. I love this blog as it provides me with a voice, as well as a platform in which I can freely talk about what I like.
It makes me emotional and upset at times when I can’t express my feelings in spoken words, I feel that in some ways it stifles my relationships with people.
I guess sometimes I feel as though it’s a weakness.
I have therapy again tomorrow. I’m going to relax this evening and not be too hard on myself. After all, tomorrow will be a tough day.
I hope that you’re all having a fantastic week.
– Hannah ❤