Confidence is always something that I’ve struggled with. Over the past year or so I’ve been trying my upmost best to build up my confidence.
I often feel like I am trying to prove to myself that I can do things. I can go to the shops by myself. I can get on that train by myself. To be quite honest I feel a bit strange writing this down because if you’ve followed me for a while you will know that I moved away for university. I also went and lived in South Korea by myself.
So for someone who has lived alone and managed to move halfway across the world, how can they struggle with confidence?
Well to tell you the truth I go through phases of being confident and then being withdrawn. Some days I feel like I can do anything. Then other days it’s like I don’t have any confidence and I just want to hide away.
It’s very frustrating, I want to be confident.
To build my confidence I have tried to make myself do small things. Maybe I will walk to the shop by myself. Maybe I will go and sit in a coffee shop for an hour or so. or maybe I will get on a bus and go to a nearby town for the day. Like I said, some days all of those things are so easy and enjoyable to accomplish and I quite often don’t even think about it. Other days its a chore to do those things.
One of the things I learnt whilst doing CBT was to reward the things that you find difficult. I try and set myself goals of the things I want to achieve. Once I achieve a goal I make sure that I reward myself for doing it. My CBT therapist always emphasised the importance of this technique as it trains the brain to recognise the goal as a positive thing rather than something to be anxious/scared about.
Over the coming week I’m going to be working on taking walks by myself. You might be aware that I’ve just moved to a new place so I’m working on making myself feel more comfortable here. I think this is a very positive step for me so I’m looking forward to achieving this goal. I think that it will do wonders for my confidence. 😀
What techniques do you use to build your confidence?
– Hannah ❤
I feel like I spend a lot of my time reminding people to love themselves and I find that I neglect to love myself.
Today I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. Its going to be a very emotionally changing next few months. I need to remember to not be too hard on myself. Maybe once in a while I need to cut myself some slack.
✨ I am doing my best.
And if I have a bad day. I need to remind myself of this:
✨ Things WILL get better.
I’ve also been asking myself this (it’s also a quote btw)
“Was it a bad day? Or was it a bad five minutes that you milked all day?”
I’m so guilty of writing off an entire day as a bad day when in fact, realistically it was probably just a bad couple of hours.
Here are a few things that I have tried to remind myself of today:
✨ Always make time for yourself.
✨ Be brave.
✨ Value yourself.
✨ Celebrate the things you love.
I hope you’ve all had a fantastic day!
– Hannah ❤
Sometimes we just need a few written reminders of just how brave, strong and amazing we can be!
Mental illness can really wear us down and make us both mentally and physically drained. It’s been one of those days for me.
But despite having a pretty bad morning, lots of positive things have come from today. I planned a few big surprise things that will be happening in the next few months. I went shopping with my friend. (she is just adorable and really makes me smile) I’m so lucky to have her! I bought some food for dinners as well as some ingredients to do some baking on my day off on Friday! I also took a bath and did some reading. I’m reading such a cute book at the minute. I admit, I’m a huge fan of the romance books! I’m also planning on going to the gym after work tomorrow!
I would say a pretty positive day in the end!
If you’re feeling down, useless or unmotivated, I highly suggest writing some positive affirmations down. Even if you don’t believe them right away, it’s great to have them as a motivator.
✨ YOU are stronger than you think!
✨ YOU are worthy of happiness and love!
✨ YOU are more incredible than you think you are!
✨ YOU do deserve a break!
✨ YOU can do this!
✨ I believe in you.
I hope you are enjoying your week so far.
– Hannah ❤
So, I’ve been keeping this quite quiet for a little while now. I’m so happy that I can now tell everyone about it!
At the beginning of March I will be moving in with my boyfriend. It’s going to be so great to see him everyday rather than just once a month. I can imagine that going from being long distance to living together will present a few issues, but I’m so confident that we are both going to love it.
I’m so excited to start this next chapter of our lives together. I’m looking forward to sharing this new part of my life with you all.
Do you have any advice for moving in with your boyfriend? It would be greatly appreciated.
– Hannah ❤
In the past, my previous therapists have always suggested that I keep a journal. I’ve kept a journal on and off for about 13 years. During a bad patch last year I decided that having those journals were holding me back from becoming the person that I wanted to be, so I made the decision to burn them.
This month I decided that I would start to use the journal that my sister had bought me. Only when I fill in the pages now, I don’t use the same format that I have used previously. I just found that writing about my day and how I feel wasn’t that helpful for me.
I decided that I would pick a moment before I go to bed, maybe light a candle or two and reflect on the day. I would write down all of the positives that I could think of that happened during the day. I always find that if I have a bad day, I tend to dwell on the fact that it was a bad day and allow it to consume me.
I don’t allow myself to write those thoughts down. I try and just focus on the good things that I have happened that day!
This is really working for me right now. 😀
Do you keep a journal?
– Hannah ❤
I hope you’re having a fantastic weekend so far. I just wanted to come on here and just share a few things with you.
Since the start of January I’ve started keeping a positive journal. It’s similar to the positive note jars that I have, however I find that keeping my positives like this is a much better way of expressing how I feel.
I’m a huge believer in daily affirmations! For me, to write down everyday positive things from my days forces me to see how positive even a ‘bad day’ was.
I find that when I have a bad day I tend to let it consume me. (Which is something that is easy to do) However, this year I had decided to take a more hands on approach.
Instead off falling asleep having feeling like I’ve had the worst day, I force myself to get my journal out and start picking my day apart. So far it’s working very well for me. I told my therapist about it last Monday, she agrees that it’s a great thing for my recovery process.
How do you deal with negative thoughts? Do you keep a positive journal?
This morning I had my second session. I was feeling much more relaxed about going this time. Last week I was quite anxious.
This week we talked about:
- Mood changes
- OCD behaviour
- Current living situation
I’ve had quite a rough week (i feel like I say this every week) but this week I’ve been feeling quite ill and it’s been really getting to me.
My mood has been quite up and down, especially as i’ve been feeling quite stressed at work.
Its no secret that I have OCD tendencies, but I would have never described it as OCD. Until this morning, I didn’t realise just how much the rituals and behaviours that I have effect my everyday life.
We talked about my current living situation and how I would like to see it be different in the next six months. We made targets! (realistic ones) I’m going to focus and work on them!
Therapy went quite well overall.
– Hannah ❤
Last Monday I had my first psychotherapy session. I’m not going to lie, I was pretty anxious about it! I really wasn’t sure of what to expect.
The session was incredibly emotional and upsetting.
We talked about my childhood. We talked about my parents and my dad’s controlling behaviour. We talked about the effects that that is having on my adult life.
We talked our way through the lengthy questionnaire that was handed to me in the introductory session about a month ago. I preferred that! I feel like I can convey my emotions better when I write them down.
We focused on the aspects of my life that I would like to change.
- Mood swings
- Obsessive thinking
- Negative body image
Towards the end of the session, she asked me to think about what I would like to focus on in next weeks session. I think I would like to focus more on my mood swings and what triggers them.
I’m a little late uploading this post. By the time this post is live I will have just finished my second session. I’m aiming to write a re-cap of each session and upload it on a Monday evening.
Have you had psychotherapy before?
– Hannah ❤
Welcome to 2018!
When reflecting on the previous year, many people have the habit of looking negatively and only seeing the bad things. I found myself doing this until I sat down and really focused on all the good things that happened to me.
In no particular order, here some of the things/achievements of 2018.
- Went and saw my first psychiatrist and was diagnosed with BPD. (I was brave!)
- I started my first job since returning from South Korea.
- I met Josh and fell in love with him. ❤
- I went and travelled London (properly) for the first time.
- I realised my inner worth. (This was difficult!)
- At the beginning of the year, I walked away from a toxic and abusive relationship. (I learnt that I deserved much MUCH better)
- Had so many amazing opportunities to collaborate with other bloggers and brands. (I feel so grateful)
- I started (and finished) group therapy (MBT)
- I learnt how to incorporate more self-care into my everyday routine.
- I joined the gym.
Now! Thats a pretty awesome list of things. (At least, I think so)
I’m sure there are many more things that I’ve forgotten. I had a great year! 2017 taught me so many things, especially about myself.
I’m grateful that I have the chance to continue building my life in 2018.
How would you describe your 2017?
– Hannah ❤
Blogmas is officially over but it doesn’t feel right not uploading a post today.
Today has been great, I’ve had a great time. I’ve said this numerous times but Christmas is my favourite time of year.
Christmas generates a lot of hype! For me at least I love the the excitement as Christmas is approaching. Although I love Christmas, I do feel incredibly deflated once Christmas is over.
It’s been great spending Christmas with Josh, I really hope that this time next year we will be living together. I’m ready to move out and have my own space. I want to have the chance to decorate my own place as well as the sense of achievement you get when you have your apartment and responsibilities.
I feel kind of ashamed to admit this, and I’m not really sure why as it’s not something I should feel badly about. This evening I started to feel really overwhelmed. I think I just became really tired and frustrated. I could feel my mood sinking and I just felt like I needed to escape.
I decided that I would take a bit of ‘me’ time and take some time to collect my thoughts. Afterwards I started to feel a bit better. I decided that I would write a quick journal post to write down how I’ve been feeling.
How has your Christmas been?
– Hannah ❤