We Are Packed!

Well, what a whirlwind this pregnancy has been! If you’ve been following over on my Instagram you will have seen the troubles and stresses we’ve been facing over the past 24 weeks.

As I’m writing this, I’m currently 36 weeks + 3 days pregnant! In many ways I feel like this pregnancy has gone super quick. It has been a struggle though! Before getting pregnant I had this idea of what being pregnant would look like for me, and this has just been so far from it. I have never felt so stressed, on edge and helpless. Everything has been completely out my control. It’s just been one thing after another and now I finally feel like the end is in sight.

I’m booked in for an elective c-section on the 5th June at St. Thomas’ Hospital in London.

I’m incredibly nervous…

This isn’t our original chosen hospital but we’ve been transferred there because of the possible problems that Baby J is facing. He is looking to spent some time in NICU and will be assessed by a ENT team and a Cleft Team straight after birth. We’ve been reassured that this is the best hospital in the UK for him. It’s all just a bit scary not knowing whether or not your baby will be able to breathe. It makes me incredibly emotional thinking about it.

I would say that over the past week is the first time since the beginning of the pregnancy that I have felt excited to meet him. I know this sounds horrible but I feel like we have spent the entire pregnancy receiving bad news, test results and waiting on phone calls. I’ve become so numb. I’ve not wanted to get my hopes up just in case. I didn’t want to face getting any more bad news.

We’ve spent the past 4 weeks packing and re-packing the hospital bag. At first I packed as though Baby J and I would be in the hospital for a couple of days. Then we were told that he would probably be in NICU so I wouldn’t need to pack anything for him and that I would only need things for myself. Josh wouldn’t be able to stay either because of the current Covid 19 situation. Then it went from that to I would be having a c-section so pack more things for myself as I will be in for a few days.

Then from that (to be quite honest, I had had enough of packing) we were told that I would now be traveling to London to deliver baby. So we went from having just a small bag and a shoulder bag to having 2 cases, a bag for Baby J to leave with the midwives, a shoulder bag and an extra backpack with dried food and drinks. It’s safe to say that we feel like we are going to be moving into the hospital for a while. We will be staying in some accommodation opposite the hospital whilst Baby J is in NICU.

We have packed a couple of books, a Winnie The Pooh blanket and a little teddy.

Just 10 days left till we meet our little boy and we can’t wait! ❤

Much love,
Hannah x

P.S. I am writing a book where I have documented my pregnancy much more closely so hopefully one day I will be able to get that published.

5 Ways To Stay Positive.

With the end of April approaching, 2020 is resembling something like a nightmare, it’s been such a uncertain time for everyone. Since the outbreak of Covid 19, I’ve found myself more anxious than ever before.

I’m currently 32 weeks pregnant with my first baby and if that wasn’t enough stress as it was, the virus outbreak has added nothing but pressure, more uncertainty and heaps of anxiety. I’ve been finding it incredibly difficult to stay positive and focused. I’ve allowed myself to spiral into obsessive habits and negative thinking, I’m sure that I’m not the only one?

I think that this coming week will mean that I will be going into my 7th week of full lockdown. I feel that I have to admit that each day that has gone by I’ve been an anxious mess. I’m constantly on alert to whether I have symptoms of the virus, I’ve not been able to sleep because of the fear of not being able to breathe. Every niggle, every scratch in my throat, every hot flush (oh pregnancy!) has had my mind working overdrive thinking that I’m going to get ill.

Things hit breaking point last week and as I was discussing over the phone with my counsellor.

This needs to stop!

So over the past week I’ve compiled a list of 5 things (5 seemed like a manageable and achievable amount) that will help myself and hopefully you too, to stay positive during this incredibly uncertain and stressful time.

  1. Journal
    Lets start with journaling… It’s always something I’ve found extremely therapeutic and helpful. Theres just something about getting your thoughts out of your mind and on to paper. I really feel like it clears my mind and allows me to focus more clearly on being present during other parts of my life.
  2. Yoga/Meditation
    Although, I will be honest, yoga is a bit of a struggle now that I’m pregnant, I do try to do some basic stretches to ease some of the back pain I’ve been getting! I like to conclude each yoga (or stretching session) with a short meditation practice. Like journaling, meditation also helps to clear my mind.
    (I’m a massive fan of the CALM app. It’s so easy to use! I’ve tried lots of different apps but I always find myself coming back to that one)
  3. Go for a daily walk
    Of course (with the virus outbreak each countries rules are different) but for us in the UK we are allowed 1, 1 hour walk a day. Up till the other day we hadn’t been going for walks. We had just been sitting in our back garden and the only time that either of us went out was if I needed to go to a hospital appointment or Josh needed to go shopping. Other than that, we haven’t been leaving the house. We made the decision this week to start going for short walks for a couple of reasons, the first being, it’s good to exercise and can be more damaging to your physical and mental health than you realise by not going. The second, I was getting more and more achy from being pregnant and not being able to stretch and walk to ease those pains.
    So yes, if you can, I would truly recommend a short walk around your local area. Just ensure you adhere to your countries rules and social distancing lockdown procedures.
  4. Read
    Now if you follow me over on my Instagram you will know that each year I set myself a challenge of reading 12 books a year. I didn’t quite meet my goal last year (I’m not quite sure what happened) but this year I’m right on track, I’m ahead in fact! Reading can be an amazing escapism and a great way to expand your imagination and knowledge. Having a reading goal might also be a great way to keep you motivated during this time!
  5. Learn something new
    A bit like reading, I love setting myself new challenges. Learning something new or acquiring a new skill makes me feel so good about myself. It also increases how productive I feel and is such a good focus. I’m sure that I’m not the only one who has a list of things they want to do or learn but because life and work gets in the way I never seem to find time to make a start on them. Now is my chance!

I’m interested in the ways in which you’ve been finding positive things to do during this time. I would love to know what you’ve been up to. 💙

Stay safe,

H x