Dear Future BF

Boyfriend! Well, hello!

Firstly, I would like to say that I’m really proud of myself for learning how to open myself up to another person again. I’m sure we have already discussed about ex’s by this point, and as you probably already know, my ex’s have been pretty… shitty, to say the least!

You are probably already aware that I have trust issues and I am highly insecure at times. I’m sure that I brush off all of your compliments like I don’t care. (when secretly, they make me smile)

I still don’t believe them though. I’m working on it. 

I’m sure you are very sweet. Caring. Attentive. I’m sure that you offer me much reassurance. (Again, I’m sure you are aware that I crave it) I’m sure that you listen to me talk for hours and say that you could do it all night. Are you crazy? I’m sure you tell me I look beautiful, even though I think I look like I’ve just been dragged through a bush. Still, your words make me smile.

I’m sure we have had a few ‘hiccups’ during the time we were ‘getting together.’ I’m sure I keep texting you with the same words of “Are we okay?” or “Are you angry?” and I’m sure that your response is “Of course baby.” I hope I’ve told you how much I love it when you call me baby.

I hope I’ve told you how much I appreciate you. And how much I love (yes love) having you in my life. I love your positivity. I love your ambition. Your drive. Your love. And your passion.

I hope I’ve apologised for all the times where I freak out and act crazy. I hope that I’ve said sorry a million times when I’ve caused a fight from something that was all made it up in my mind.

I hope that I’ve told you how much I love it when you smile. And that when you laugh, my heart melts. I hope that I’ve told you how adorable you look when you smile. Or how admirable it is when you talk about your family.

And when we talk about the future. Am I still afraid? The truth is, I’m sure I’m just scared that things won’t work out. And that I will get hurt. Or maybe that I will love you, more than you love me.

I know that you seem confused when I’m sad and I pull away from you. I hope that I reassure you that the reason for this is for self preservation. I don’t want to get hurt. And, I don’t want to hurt you.

Sometimes, I feel like I do need to be alone. To think. Not about us but, general things. You know? Being alone is something that I’ve always struggled with. I mean, I’m better than I was. Have I improved by this point? I sure hope that I have. 

Did we ever go on a trip? I hope that we did and that we had an awesome time!

I hope I told you how much it takes for me to say the ‘L’ word, and I don’t mean leprechaun. Although, they are pretty cool.

I’m sure that (and I can say this now, because, well… this is for the future) from early on that I did start … (L)ing you. I probably did, because I’m sure that you are amazing.

I hope that we do couple type things like, walking along the beach holding hands. I hope that we write each other letters. (because I think that’s the sweetest thing ever) I hope that when you are sick I can be there to take care of you. Cook you food. And cuddle you whilst you’re sleeping.

And lastly, I hope that we haven’t lost our sarcastic banter. Because, just wouldn’t that be a shame!

Till then, I hope that you are well. I hope that you are creating and shaping the amazing person that you will become.

And when it’s time for us. We will be perfect.

I hope we meet soon,

Your future girlfriend.
xxx

Gratitude Challenge – Something Someone Gave You.

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There is nothing that I love more than receiving handwritten letters. I love them! There is just something just so personal about them.

You can tell that the person has thought about what they’ve written.

When I was teaching in South Korea last year some of my students used to write me letters. It was the cutest thing ever. It made me smile so much to see that the children had taken so much time to sit down and write a letter to me in English. Super adorable. ❤

With the amount of social media and messaging apps available nowadays, it’s so nice and refreshing to receive a hand written letter. It makes me feel so grateful when I received them. 🙂

Thank you for reading. ❤

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P.S. Check back next Tuesday for another Gratitude Challenge post.

**** If you want to join in with this gratitude challenge. Click here and scroll down to the ‘Gratitude Challenge Photo’ If you decide to join in, send me a link. I would love to read yours.

Check out some of the other posts I’ve written for the gratitude challenge:

Gratitude Challenge – A Family member

Gratitude Challenge – Family

Gratitude Challenge – Significant Other

Gratitude Challenge – Why Start This Challenge

Gratitude Challenge – A Family Member.

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A few weeks ago I had a job interview. During the interview the interviewer asked me who I have in my life that inspires me. I answered:

My mum.

My mum is someone that I’ve looked up to for a long time. I admire how honest, courageous and caring she is.

I think that being a mother is the hardest job in the world. There isn’t a perfect mother handbook that comes with your child when he/she is born. A parent has to do and protect their child however they feel is best.

I really value the relationship that myself and my mum have. I can talk to her about pretty much anything. When something is wrong, she is the person that I turn to.

I think that my mum is

brave,

loving,

caring,

understanding,

selfless,

and more.

“Mum, thank you for being the most amazing mum anyone could have ever asked for.”

Thank you for reading~ ❤

P.S. Check back next Tuesday for another Gratitude Challenge post.

**** If you want to join in with this gratitude challenge. Click here and scroll down to the ‘Gratitude Challenge Photo’ If you decide to join in, send me a link. I would love to read yours.

Gratitude Challenge – Family.

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To me, family is really important. I come from a small family, but a close one. We get along most of the time. I enjoy Christmas the most, it’s gives us a time to come together and be a family.

Growing up, I always felt supported. From the age of 13 I wanted to be a filmmaker. My family put with the aggravation of me turning the house into a movie set every chance I got. Not to mention the bags of flour I poured over the dining room table for a shoot. (I was shooting a supernatural pilot episode) I thought I was remaking Buffy The Vampire Slayer or something. As well as the fake eyeballs I cut up, filled with fake blood (I found a simple recipe online) What can I say? I was a dark minded teenager. Watching too many horror movies mixed with a creative imagination. I’m sure there are plenty more things that I’ve forgotten.

My family must have been so sick of hearing me say the words “Can you watch this?”, “Please just watch one more time”. “Is it possible to borrow for kitchen for the afternoon.” What can I say, studio spaces are so expensive. I was grateful for all of the opinions you gave me about my work.

Thanks to my family, they allowed me the freedom to ‘express my art’. I also appreciate the support they gave me support and courage to finish school, go on to University, graduate and live in South Korea for a year. I really appreciate the love and support.

Of course every family has their problems, ours was no exception. But despite everything, we always come back together.

Thank you ❤

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P.S. Check back next Tuesday for another Gratitude Challenge post.

**** If you want to join in with this gratitude challenge. Click here and scroll down to the ‘Gratitude Challenge Photo’ If you decide to join in, send me a link. I would love to read yours.

Gratitude Challenge – My Significant Other.

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Dear future husband,

How’s it going?

How are you? I really hope that you are well. In 2017 I decided to start this gratitude challenge. I started it in order to start appreciating the things and people that I have in my life.

For the past couple of years I have thought that married life would be better than single life. Is it? However growing up I always thought I would never get married. How did you manage to talk me around to the idea of getting married? I must have thought you were Not. That. Bad. 😉

Am I easy to live with? I bet I’m a nightmare awesome to live with! I bet I complain to you about leaving your dirty washing around right? And about how you always leave opened wrappers on the dining room table? Not to mention the pots, one by one stacked up in the sink. Why do you leave them there? Because why wash them straight away when you have more in the cupboard…? *Facepalm*

But I bet I secretly like cleaning up after you.

I can imagine that you NEVER have any sense of urgency. And that I can’t count on two hands how many times we will have nearly missed a bus or train through your bad time management. I bet it drives me insane! Some would call it uptight, yet I can imagine that you would call it cute. You will always find a positive!

I’m glad you’re the relaxed one of the two of us.

Do I cook for you? I really that hope I do! I really love cooking. I can imagine that I used to cook just see your face light up at a home cooked meal. I always thought that you ate out at restaurants too much anyway.

You are always so thankful.

I will always love it when you cook for me. You will always tell me that you can’t cook and that’s it’s nothing special, but to me it is. I will appreciate the effort.

Do we visit the river? I can imagine the summer nights when we will walk along the river hand in hand looking at the glistening water. And in the Autumn and Spring, it will be become a little colder and you will hand me your jacket. A true gentleman. And when it comes to the time for you to drive me home, I will prey that we hit every red light just so I could spend a little more time with you. Cheesy I know, but I always wanted to live inside a movie. 

When I think of you. I don’t think of you as my husband. I think of you as my best friend, my companion. I think of you as the person that will always be there for me. I think of you as the person that I can turn to, the person I can tell my deepest darkest secrets to. The person I can yell at and come 4am you will hold me as I tell you that I’m sorry for yelling at you. Then I would tell you that I can act a little crazy sometimes. And you will tell me that it’s okay. Yet, I will insist that it’s not.

We will always agree to disagree. 

I think of you as a person I can support, help, encourage and love. I think of you as a person that I will be there for when things are hard and when things are good. I want to be be the person that is there for you when you need me, just as you are always here for me.

I will tell you that I love you, and you will always say “I love you more” You will make me feel loved and wanted. You will tell me that there is no obstacle that we cannot overcome. And when I start doubting, you will tell me over and over ways in which we can make our future happen.

Your passion and determination is what I find most attractive.

*** I’m writing this letter as a reminder to both of us. A reminder to you if you even for one second forget just how much I love you. And as a reminder to myself if I ever forget just how grateful I am to have someone like you in my life.

Forever yours,

Your future wife.