Well, what a whirlwind this pregnancy has been! If you’ve been following over on my Instagram you will have seen the troubles and stresses we’ve been facing over the past 24 weeks.
As I’m writing this, I’m currently 36 weeks + 3 days pregnant! In many ways I feel like this pregnancy has gone super quick. It has been a struggle though! Before getting pregnant I had this idea of what being pregnant would look like for me, and this has just been so far from it. I have never felt so stressed, on edge and helpless. Everything has been completely out my control. It’s just been one thing after another and now I finally feel like the end is in sight.
I’m booked in for an elective c-section on the 5th June at St. Thomas’ Hospital in London.
I’m incredibly nervous…
This isn’t our original chosen hospital but we’ve been transferred there because of the possible problems that Baby J is facing. He is looking to spent some time in NICU and will be assessed by a ENT team and a Cleft Team straight after birth. We’ve been reassured that this is the best hospital in the UK for him. It’s all just a bit scary not knowing whether or not your baby will be able to breathe. It makes me incredibly emotional thinking about it.
I would say that over the past week is the first time since the beginning of the pregnancy that I have felt excited to meet him. I know this sounds horrible but I feel like we have spent the entire pregnancy receiving bad news, test results and waiting on phone calls. I’ve become so numb. I’ve not wanted to get my hopes up just in case. I didn’t want to face getting any more bad news.
We’ve spent the past 4 weeks packing and re-packing the hospital bag. At first I packed as though Baby J and I would be in the hospital for a couple of days. Then we were told that he would probably be in NICU so I wouldn’t need to pack anything for him and that I would only need things for myself. Josh wouldn’t be able to stay either because of the current Covid 19 situation. Then it went from that to I would be having a c-section so pack more things for myself as I will be in for a few days.
Then from that (to be quite honest, I had had enough of packing) we were told that I would now be traveling to London to deliver baby. So we went from having just a small bag and a shoulder bag to having 2 cases, a bag for Baby J to leave with the midwives, a shoulder bag and an extra backpack with dried food and drinks. It’s safe to say that we feel like we are going to be moving into the hospital for a while. We will be staying in some accommodation opposite the hospital whilst Baby J is in NICU.
We have packed a couple of books, a Winnie The Pooh blanket and a little teddy.
Just 10 days left till we meet our little boy and we can’t wait! ❤
P.S. I am writing a book where I have documented my pregnancy much more closely so hopefully one day I will be able to get that published.