The past few days have been quite productive. I’ve certainly had ups and downs.
As I’m writing this I’ve found myself getting very paranoid and very emotional. I worry that I’m not enough. I worry that I will never overcome depression. I worry that I will never overcome how I feel. I worry that this will forever be my life. It’s difficult because today has been so productive and positive, but now, I find myself feeling like this. I feel empty and lonely!
I feel like I don’t want to be here. It’s crazy as earlier I found myself smiling; genuinely smiling. I was happy! I was planning what I will do tomorrow and the next day and the day after that. I was thinking about the future. I was thinking about how great it would be to get married and have children.
Right now all I can think about is this moment.
I want to be okay.
I want to feel alive.
I want to feel free.
So now, I will pick myself up and begin to plan my trip tomorrow. I’m sure I will be okay. I’m going to watch Netflix. I’m going to charge my camera and pack my bag.
When that’s done, I will climb into bed, light my candle and read some of my book.
Goodnight. I hope you’ve had a great Monday.
– Hannah ❤