Happy New Year. I’m really hoping that this year will be filled with much more joy, positivity and happy memories.
I certainly feel rather proud of myself this week. I feel that I’ve really took some big steps forwards in terms of being Jack’s mum. I feel in many ways, I’ve been struggling with bonding, especially in the early months of Jack being born. I struggled to accept and come to terms of our new ‘normal’ life. It was difficult to understand what our life would look like when we returned home from London. I won’t go into too much detail about the our bonding journey as I will save that for a series of posts I will be uploading very soon.
This week I’ve felt more like Jack’s mum than ever before. We’ve cuddled, he’s fell asleep whilst cuddling me, I’ve read him stories and sang songs to him. I feel like this week has been a turning point, I’ve allowed myself to see what the medical stuff for what it really is, JUST medical stuff. I’ve been changing the way I’ve been interacting with Jack and talking to him about the things I’m doing, whether thats tracheostomy tape changes, drawing medication up or just changing his nappy. I’ve allowed myself to communicate with him as his mum through not only the normal baby stuff but all the medical stuff we have to do throughout our day.
Jack will be 7 months old next week and I feel like this week for the first time, I’ve realised just how much I love and care for him. When he is sat in his chair having his feed and I look over at him and he smiles. I realise just how lucky I am to be his mummy.