How I Really Feel Being Pregnant.

I’ll be honest I’ve been struggling to put this post into words. Feeling confident within myself before getting pregnant was difficult. Now that I am pregnant, I feel as though my body confidence changes quite drastically day to day.

On Friday it was Valentines Day, Josh made plans for us to have a three course dinner at a local restaurant that I’ve really wanted to go to for a while. I got dressed up, put some makeup on and I was amazed at just how confident that made me feel.

I feel like I’ve waited for the best part of a month for this “pregnancy glow” and energy that everyone talks about. I definitely feel as though I have more energy than I did during the first trimester though. (Thank goodness for that!)

I’ve been feeling as though I’m not as happy as I should be during this pregnancy. I feel guilty for not enjoying it as much as I think I should be. In my mind I should be ecstatic about the new chapter ahead. I should love my body unconditionally for the incredible thing that it’s doing. I’ve been feeling really overwhelmed about the prospect of becoming a mum. It’s a scary concept! I’m learning to accept these feelings of uncertainty as normal. I’m learning to understand that it is a scary but exciting new chapter of my life. I’m currently waiting on therapy to help with these thoughts.

If you’ve followed me for a while or you know me personally, you’ll know that I’ve struggled with my mental health for a large majority of my life. Before getting pregnant I decided that I would stop taking the anti-depressants that I had been taking for about 2 and a half years. I worked alongside my doctor for 6 months to do this safely. I’m so proud of myself for getting to a place where I didn’t need them anymore. I’ve had a lot of therapy in the past, and that really helped me too.

Getting pregnant happened very quickly for us which I feel so blessed about. During the first trimester my emotions were like a rollercoaster. Although I have to admit that my hormones have calmed down a bit I have been having days (mostly moments) where I just cry or I get so overwhelmed. I’m told by my midwife that it’s normal?

I feel as though people don’t talk much about how pregnancy affects their mental health as they’re afraid of being judged or that people will think they won’t be able to cope when the baby gets here. For me, although I do share those fears too. I’m really looking forward to baby’s arrival and I’m so excited to become a mum. There are however moments that are overshadowed by my mental health, and the doubts and fears that I have in my mind. Because I’ve struggled with my mental health in the past, those fears and doubts are somewhat exaggerated and overwhelming to deal with. But I think that it’s vital to establish that having mental health problems does no way determine the type of person or parent you will become.

I struggle with my mental health and whilst being pregnant I’m almost vulnerable to having more intense feelings about how I’m coping, but thats okay. It’s so important to reach out and ask for help. It doesn’t make you a bad person and it certainly doesn’t make you a bad mum.

I hope to talk more about my mental health during this pregnancy and I would encourage others to do so too. ❤

Thank you for reading,

Hannah x

We're Halfway There.

We are officially halfway through now. These first 20 weeks have flown by and everyday that goes by makes me more and more excited to meet our little one. ❤

We have been making lots of preparations for baby’s arrival so I will definitely be uploading a nursery tour.

The first trimester was pretty tough for me emotionally and physically. I was one of the lucky ones and was never physically sick but the nausea was unbearable at times, especially when at work. I suffered mostly with fatigue, mood swings and food aversions. Fatigue meant that when I wasn’t at work, I was mostly likely at home and in bed. Getting through my shifts at work were a struggle I tell you that! I’ve always struggled with mood swings but the ones I experienced in the first 14 weeks were exhausting for both myself and my partner. (Bless him, he’s put up with a lot so far)

  • Food aversions were mostly any hot food. I could only eat very little and often and it had to be cold savoury foods. I would often cook my dinner and wait for it to be cold before eating. Or I would live on plain breadsticks and plain crackers.
  • Food cravings: I didn’t have any weird or strange cravings like sponges or dirt. I did however start to crave cheese, (which is odd because I don’t like cheese) chocolate milk, cereal and watermelon. I think thats about it…

I’m feeling regular movements from baby and I just can’t wait for the day that Josh can feel them too. Going to work has proven to be a bit difficult, I’m trying to take it one day at a time though. Being on my feet all day means I’ve been experiencing some cramping and I’m left feeling utterly exhausted by the end of the shift. My midwife keeps reminding me to take it easy and have plenty of sit downs.

Yoga has helped dramatically with my lower back pain so I will definitely be keeping that up! I used to attend a yoga class at my local gym, I’m thinking about going back and attending again very soon. I’ve also been reading a lot about hypnobirthing, it really intrigues me so I will be giving that a go too.

I’m trying to treasure all of the moments that I have for myself because when little one comes along all of my time and energy will be going into looking after them. So for now, lots of lazy evenings, long bath times and casually reading my favourite books.

Thats it for now! I will be sharing my pregnancy essentials in my next post so keep your eyes out for that!

Hope you’re all doing well.

Hannah x

I'm Pregnant

It’s been such a long time since I’ve written a post on here, I’ve really missed it! A lot has happened:
– I’ve changed jobs, (yes, again!)
– Josh and I decided that we would try for a baby.
– Josh and I found out we were pregnant in October.
– In November we moved out of our small 1 bedroom apartment to a beautiful house.
– We spent Christmas in our new home.

I’ve decided that I want to re-start blogging again. I’m kinda anxious about getting back into it but I’m sure I will feel right at home in no time.

So tell me, what type of content would you like to see from me?

Be sure to follow me over on Instagram too:
https://www.instagram.com/paint_me_a_smile_/

Talk soon,
Hannah x