Foot Recovery.

Hello and welcome back to my blog.

On February the 19th I had an operation on my foot to remove a bunion that was causing me so much pain in and around my left foot.

After having a check up appointment this morning, the doctor is very happy with the amount that my foot has healed.

They did an xray on my foot. I was so shocked by how much you could see. They put three screws in my big toe to keep it straight. I’m so happy to have my foot back and not in pain. I have been cleared to go back to the gym. Apart from running I will be pretty much okay to do everything I would normally do, which is awesome.

So now that my foot is completely on the mend, I will be completing a fitness course that I have enrolled on. I will be putting together my fitness plan and diary. I can’t wait to share this part of my life with you.

I hope that you’re all having an amazing start to the week.

Much love,
Hannah x

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Be Your Own Best.

Dear Reader,

I wanted to start this post off as a dear journal post, however as I thought more about what I wanted to write I thought that a lot of you would relate and be feeling the same too.

Its so easy to get caught up in pushing yourself to do more, or do better. I am also very guilty of this.

I have just finished a at home yoga session with one of my favourite yoga instructors on YouTube. The session was aimed for times when you might be feeling stressed. I guess its not secret to those around me that I put a huge amount of pressure on myself to do more and be better so this session seemed appropriate.

I’ve made it my daily mission over the past week or so to try and not stress the little things and OMG has it been difficult! Its so easy to allow myself to fly off the handle about bits on the floor, and washing left on the side and don’t get me started on the time I thought we had ran out of mayonnaise. I’m on a bit of a tangent now though, the point is, life is too short.

All of the stress that we carry around on a daily basis ultimately causes us more emotional and physical pain in tbe future.

I like the saying, live for today…

Because its true. Just do your best and remind yourself that you’re doing your best and you deserve to be loved.

Keep being you and I will see you in a video I’m currently preparing to put up tomorrow.

Much love,

Hannah x

Must Have Monday!

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As of this week (I’ve seen a few bloggers do this and I wanted to try too) I will be starting a new series where I will pick one product that I love and would love to recommend to you. None of these posts are sponsored (thought, in many ways I wish they were) unless otherwise stated!

It’s certainly no secret that I’m a through and through coffee lover! It’s only fitting that I have a selection of various syrups in my kitchen. I would say for the past four months I’ve been absolutely loving adding vanilla syrup into my coffee’s.

Click here to the syrups that I use.

I would love to know what you think of these types of posts. So that’s it for this weeks Must Have Monday!

I hope that you’ve had a great start to your week. 🙂

– Hannah ❤

My First Few Days In Kent.

It’s been a busy week this week and it’s only Wednesday!

On Monday I moved all the way from my parent’s house in Hull all the way down to Dover. My boyfriend and I have got a flat here.

The move went fairly easy. We got everything in the flat, my dad and sister stayed a little while before setting off back to Hull.

I didn’t really do much yesterday asides from unpacking and going food shopping with Josh.

I’m feeling much more settled today, most of my stuff is unpacked and in place. I have been asked to have some coffee shop training next Monday-Wednesday which is exciting. You all know how much I love coffee!  I managed to register myself at the doctors too, that makes me feel a bit more at ease for when I need to get some more medication.

I also had a bit of time to walk along the seafront. It was just so beautiful. I will definetely be spending more time down there when the weather gets a bit warmer.

I’m so glad that I have made the decision to move down here. I think this is going to be a really positive step for me.

How is your week going?

– Hannah ❤

Session 2.

This morning I had my second session. I was feeling much more relaxed about going this time. Last week I was quite anxious.

This week we talked about:

  • Mood changes
  • OCD behaviour
  • Current living situation

I’ve had quite a rough week (i feel like I say this every week) but this week I’ve been feeling quite ill and it’s been really getting to me.

My mood has been quite up and down, especially as i’ve been feeling quite stressed at work.

Its no secret that I have OCD tendencies, but I would have never described it as OCD. Until this morning, I didn’t realise just how much the rituals and behaviours that I have effect my everyday life.

We talked about my current living situation and how I would like to see it be different in the next six months. We made targets! (realistic ones) I’m going to focus and work on them!

Therapy went quite well overall.

– Hannah ❤

MBT Therapy – Week Two.

Luck or fate that takes the form of finding valuable or pleasant things that are not looked for-3

So I’m writing this a little bit later than the last post, and to be honest, it’s purely because getting through this week has been particularly difficult. Better late than never though yeah?

The second session went well. I wasn’t as anxious about going as I kind of knew what to expect. I also felt more confident on the way there as I knew where I was going.

We all sat around in a group just as we did the first week. There was a few people who didn’t come to the last session. We all took it in turns to say our name out loud so that the new people knew our names. I felt kind of awkward about this though. I know this sounds strange, but I felt like I was in a cheesy American drama.

The session went quite quickly. In the break, I made myself a coffee and talked with F again. She said that she wasn’t having a great week either. There was also a girl there who told us that she had tried to hang herself this week as things got too much. I felt kind of silly that I had being feeling so down as I didn’t feel like my reasons where as valid as some of the others in the group.

We mostly did group tasks this week, I was kind of pleased about this. I really didn’t want to make an effort to try and work in pairs as that would require speaking. Throughout the group activities I felt my emotions building up, I felt like I had so much I wanted to say but I couldn’t find a way to express how I was feeling. I knew in my mind what I was feeling, but the words just didn’t leave my mouth.

I find that this has been happening quite a lot.

I struggle to talk about how I feel unless I’m writing it down. I love this blog as it provides me with a voice, as well as a platform in which I can freely talk about what I like.

It makes me emotional and upset at times when I can’t express my feelings in spoken words, I feel that in some ways it stifles my relationships with people.

I guess sometimes I feel as though it’s a weakness.

I have therapy again tomorrow. I’m going to relax this evening and not be too hard on myself. After all, tomorrow will be a tough day.

I hope that you’re all having a fantastic week.

– Hannah ❤

MBT Therapy – Week One.

What is MBT?

“Mentalization based treatment is a Psychotherapy used to treat people who meet criteria for a diagnosis of borderline personality disorder. Mentalizing is the capacity to make sense of our own actions and feelings and those of others. This can be very important in enabling us to regulate our emotions and impulses and n developing fulfilling meaningful relationships.”

Last Friday I attended my first session of MBT. Before attending the session I was feeling quite anxious about going. I wasn’t entirely sure what to expect. I’ve had other types of therapy before but I knew this was different!

As I approached the door to the building I rang the bell and waited for someone to let me in. She took me into the room where the group was taking place. I walked in and there was about 11 other people already sat there. I only recognised one person which was my care worked who I see every two weeks. I sat down and started to fill in the questionnaire that they asked us all to complete.

  • We started with an introduction. The three therapists running the session wrote out names on the board. We passed a teddybear around the group, when you pass the bear to another person in the group you had to say their name. I was nervous at first but I soon started to feel more comfortable.
  • They then asked us to turn to the person to our left and ask that person for three facts about themselves.

S – She tattoos herself. She likes drawing and spending time with her children.

  • We took a short break. I made myself a coffee and I started talking to one of the other girls. F seemed really nice. She’s a Slytherin!
  • The group resumed and we were asked to work in pairs again. I worked with F. Our task was to write down three things we feared or were anxious about before coming to todays session.

I wrote:

  1. Not being liked.
  2. Being late/getting lost.
  3. Being judged.
  • We handed the three slips of paper back to the therapists and they read everyones out loud.

It was interesting to see that a lot of the group felt the same way as me. We all wrote down similar things.

The group concluded with discussing about the fears that we were all having about coming to the group.

Next Friday’s session will be on ‘Conditioning’

– Hannah ❤

Mental Health in the Workplace.

Processed with VSCO with hb2 presetI’m a few days late with this post. I figured I would write a post for Mental Health Awareness Day anyway as I feel that we should be open in talking about mental health all the time, not just for one day. I’ve kind of struggled to find the words to write this post and I’m not sure why.

Mental Health Awareness Day was on the 10th October, it was meant to highlight mental health within the workplace.

A little over a month ago I decided to take some time off work to focus on my mental health. I wasn’t in a good place, now without going into too much detail I just didn’t find myself wanting to live my life anymore. I didn’t feel as though it was worth it. My body and my mind hurt. Emotionally, I was a wreck. Everyday that went by I felt worse and worse. It got to the point that I felt so numb and helpless I had to go and see my doctor and get signed on sick. Going on sick was the absolute last resort for me. Anyone who knows me, knows how much I love to work!

I’m so lucky that my workplace has been so understanding about my mental health! Understanding is an understatement really, they really have been supportive. I’m so so grateful that I have this support network, as I know that many of you don’t have this. I’ve heard so many stories about people who have lost their jobs or been asked to resign from their positions. Mental health in the workplace is becoming a subject that is being more and more talked about. Mental health should be treated just the same as a physical illness. Just because you can’t see the problem does not mean that it’s not there! Mental health creates physical symptoms, I think it’s really important to acknowledge that!

I wanted to talk about how it’s incredibly important to make the people around you (not just at work) aware if you are struggling. No-one should be struggling in silence. So many people feel like they are alone in trying to manage with mental health issues. I can assure you, you are most definitely not alone! There are so many people in this world who are here to listen and are here to help.

For me, taking that time away from work was difficult. I had to fill my days with things to do otherwise I could have easily just laid in bed all day! I took time to reflect. I took time to think about my future. I created a positivity board. (I’m sure that I will blog about that in the future) It’s been really helpful actually! It’s helped me think about my future in a positive light.

After returning to work I have felt my mental health take a dip again although I’m enjoying getting back into a solid routine. I’m just trying to take it a day at a time!

How do you deal with your mental health in the workplace?

– Hannah ❤

 

Darkspots August Box.

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At this beginning of this month I decided that I would try out Darkspots monthly subscription box.

I was immediately intrigued by this box because I haven’t seen anything like this before. For someone like me that struggles with maintaining a constant mood. It’s nice to have a little ‘pick me up’ delivered straight to your door.

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I love the thought and passion that goes into these boxes.

This months box seems to have included a little bit of everything that can immediately lift your mood.

The first thing I noticed was the body shop soap. I fell in love with it immediately. It smells beautiful! I’ve always been a big fan of stress balls. I used to use them when I was at school and University, I found them really useful. I’m glad that I got a pineapple one included in this box.

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I love that Darkspots included this in the box. ‘A Dark Spot’… Realistically, recovery is not one straight line of positivity and perfect days. In fact, neither is life. Everyone has ups and downs, and good and bad days. It’s important to not put too much pressure on ourselves to have perfectly happy good days and that’s okay to have the odd ‘off’ day. In face, it’s ‘normal’.

I’m currently attempting the challenge that has been set by Darkspots. It’s going well so far. 🙂

If you are interested in getting your hands on one of these boxes. Head over to https://www.darkspots.co.uk and sign up.

– Hannah ❤

***This is NOT a sponsored post.

How To Deal With Being Triggered.

I’m going to place a trigger warning on this post for anyone who suffers with self harm. I urge you take care with reading this post. If you are easily triggered I urge you to skip this post or read with caution.

If you are having thoughts of hurting yourself or feel as though you are unable to keep yourself safe. I strongly urge you to contact either Samaritans on 116 123 or Mind on 0300 123 3393.


This week has been particularly difficult for me. It’s been just over a month since I have self harmed. I’m feeling particularly proud of myself, it’s been a tough month to say the least!

The thoughts are definitely still there, but I’ve been working on getting some alternatives in place for when I feel urges to self harm. Again, I’m super happy with the progress I’ve made over the past month!

I’ve been paying extra attention to what exactly triggers me. Whether that being objects, people, situations; I’ve made it my mission to identify what triggers my thoughts of self harm. Once I’m aware of my triggers, it’s easier to avoid being triggered in the future.

I won’t go into detail of the things that trigger me. I will however talk about how I deal with triggering situations.

At Home:

  • Cold shower (works the same as ice)
  • Go for a walk
    (Fresh air can clear your mind – I also particularly like standing outside in the rain, it can be quite refreshing)
  • Do yoga
  • Bake
  • Origami
  • Read
  • Write
    (Writing is a great way to get your feelings down and out of your mind)
  • Journal

At Work:

  • Speak to work about how I feel.
  • Use ice. (This is great as it’s painful but not in a harmful way. It also numbs my arm. I would strongly suggest trying this when you are getting strong urges to SH)

Out and About:

  • Take yourself away from the situation.
  • Go to somewhere you feel safe.
  • Listen to music.

Of course any of these can apply to any place or situation but these are just the ones that I have been using. 🙂

It’s important to keep yourself safe.

You are loved, cared for and wanted. It’s important to look and identify the positives that you have in your life. Focus on them and write a list of the reasons you stay alive.

As always, my e-mail is always open for those of you who want to talk.

– Hannah ❤