Make It Count.

Dear Journal,

This week has been incredibly tough. When I woke up this morning, something was different. My mind was different. There wasn’t this ‘black rainy cloud’ suffocating my mind.

There was silence, and calmness. For those of you who know me, my mind is constantly made up of overthinking and ‘what if’s’ and stress. But this morning, I felt focused, and motivated.

Today, I am ready for life. I am ready to move forward. Hell, my mood might be completely different by the end of the day. My moods are so up and down. But right now, my mood is great. And that is what I’m focusing on.

Today is the last day of April. I’m really looking forward to seeing what May will bring. I’m a little behind on post uploads. I’m slowly catching up. Please bear with me whilst I figure everything out. ❤

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Life Update.

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Dear Journal,

I feel like it’s been ages since I uploaded so I thought I would just check in and give you guys a little update.

A lot of things in my life have been changing recently. I would like to share with you some of the changes that I’ve been making to my life.

I’ve joined the gym.
Actually I joined a few weeks ago and I’ve been really enjoying it. It’s probably the best thing I’ve down in a long time. Last week I went Monday-Friday and I took Saturday and Sunday off. And this week I went Monday and Tuesday after work. I had a day off today (Wednesday) so I went to a yoga class this morning. It was so difficult, but I felt so refreshed afterwards. I have a day off tomorrow (Thursday) too. I will go to the gym in the morning then see one of my best friends. She’s just had a little baby boy, I’m excited to meet him. 

I feel that going to the gym is really building my confidence and it’s really helping to keep my mood more level. I’ve always been quite body conscious and going to the gym is really helping with that. It’s making me feel better about myself.

I usually work early shifts at work so I’ve been going to work, then as soon as I’ve finished work I go to the gym. I spend about two hours there before going home.

As well as joining the gym, I’ve also started writing a book. (Actually, I started writing it a couple of months ago, but I’ve been working on it a lot recently) I’ve been filling my time and life with lots of positive things.

I feel like I’m learning how to listen to my body more. If I’m hungry, I eat. If I’m tired, I sleep. If I feel stressed, I stop what I’m doing and do something relaxing. I understand that these are such simplistic things to understand, but for me it’s something I really struggle with. I’m really learning how to care for myself more.

I’m proud of the progress I’ve been making with myself. I have not been sticking to my upload schedule which is starting to stress me out a little. I’ve got a lot going on at the moment as my work hours keep getting earlier and earlier. But I will figure it out. So my uploads are going to be a bit delayed for the next few weeks or so.

I hope that you understand.

I will return to my regular uploading schedule very soon. ❤

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P.S. What have you been up to?

Be Kind to Yourself, Always.

Dear Journal,

The past few weeks have been incredibly difficult. There have been days that I haven’t wanted to get out of bed. I haven’t wanted to talk to anyone. I wanted to be alone. Hell, I’ve written this post over and over again.

After an inspiring conversation with my friend Tia earlier this afternoon, I’m feeling a lot more positive. More driven. She made me realise what type of people I want to have in my life and where I see my life going. I want to have people who care about me as much as I care about them. People who don’t ignore me and just tell me that they are busy. People who I can call and just cry to when things are hard.

I made it one of my resolutions to better myself this year. One week in and things are getting challenging. But, after this week I’ve come to realise that you need to surround yourself with supportive and positive people. Not selfish ones. And certainly not ones that make you feel shit about yourself.

Over the next couple of weeks I have a lot of things that I need to face and it’s going to take a lot of strength. I’ve been avoiding these things. Now I’m at the point where these things can no longer be avoided and ignored. But I’m going to get through it.

And I’m going to feel good about it. I’ve got myself a job. I can finally start working again!

Work = Life

I’ve been going crazy without a job. Having a job gives you options. Having options gives you choices. And those choices can give you the world.

It’s up to me.

I hope you’ve all enjoyed your Monday. Thank you for reading my rant/journal entry. Have a fantastic week! I will be uploading a Gratitude post tomorrow. (12pm UK GMT)

Enjoy your evening~

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One Weeks Notice.

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Lets skip back a couple of months. (I’ve wanted to blog about this for so long, but I really didn’t want to jinx it) In June I accepted a teaching job to teach English. (South of South Korea – Near Daegu) Upon accepting the offer I sent them my signed contract before quickly gathering my documentation together ready to send off to get the visa application started!

After my application was processed in Korea I then received my visa number. So I then sent another set of documentation off to the South Korean Embassy in London. All I could do then was wait.

As of last Tuesday my one weeks notice at work was officially up. Saying my goodbyes to people on my last shift was quite a surreal experience for me. I didn’t realise just how much I would miss the conversations that I had with the people that I had met there. As I walked out of the locker room, down the stairs and approached the staff door, I remember thinking, this is it, my one week notice is officially up. The thought of leaving made me feel rather sad. For months I’ve been thinking of the day that I would hand my notice in, but when it came down to it, I realised how much my job had taught me in these past 10 months.

Nevertheless I could start to countdown the days until I move to South Korea. For as long as I can remember I’ve always wanted to go travelling and moving to South Korea is something I’ve been seriously thinking about since January of this year. It took me a while to work up the courage to send my application in to a recruiter.

After getting my hopes up of flying on the 23rd August, I’ve now had to rearrange my flight. I’ve had unavoidable delays with my visa and it’s just not arrived yet! It’s really frustrating as I’ve booked and paid for my flight which is supposed to fly from Heathrow tomorrow afternoon! My ticket is non-refundable so the reality is that I’m going to have to buy a new ticket. I did contact the site that I bought it off, but I’ve not had a reply from them. So I’m guessing I can’t even change to a different flight either. I really want to fly out as soon as possible so fingers crossed that my visa will be here early next week. Then I can book another flight and go.

So how am I feeling about going to Korea? I’m not excited. Which I guess is strange? I’m not sure… I’m anxious, nervous and scared. I don’t like flying, never mind flying on my own. I think i’ll start to feel excited when it comes to me getting on my last bus to the city where I’ll be staying. Everyone keeps telling me that feeling this anxious is normal, so I’ve just got to wait the stress out and trust that everything will work out in the end.

After weeks of procrastinating, this past week I’ve actually been quite productive. I’ve finally packed my case and my hand luggage. I’ve started to sort all of my stuff out that I will be leaving at my parent’s house whilst I’m away. I’ve changed some English money to Korean Won. I’ve bought travel insurance. Finally, I’ve been on the hunt for a perfect gift to present to the school upon my arrival.

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Writing this now makes me feel like such an adult. I feel like I’ve got some purpose and responsibility in life. I didn’t even feel this responsible when I moved away to university. About a week and a half ago I received a letter off a friend I went to university with, in that letter she wrote about her new job and her move to London. Which is awesome! She also asked me some questions about me moving to South Korea. For a moment I had to stop and think about how grown up we are. I know I know, I’m twenty two, I should be used to acting like an adult. It’s scary to think that it’s nearly been a whole year since we graduated. Looking back, I definitely didn’t see my life going in this direction this time last year. When I left university, I didn’t feel prepared to start my life. I didn’t know what I wanted to do, or where I wanted to go. Instead I moved back in with my parents and I got a job as a sales assistant at Primark. Let me tell you, spending 10 months working there really did give me the kick that I needed to push myself further.

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The truth is, I don’t feel anymore prepared for life than I did this time last year. The difference between now and then is, I’m just not as afraid to make mistakes and learn from them. I fully intend to take the knowledge that I’ve learnt over this past year and allow it to influence the person that I will become.

I hope that you will enjoy reading about the enormous journey I’m about to embark on.

– Hannah